Disclaimer: All comments posted within this blog are meant as the great Adam Rida would say, in a “jocular nature.”

Welcome to Behind Survivor B***h. This is how it’s done in the OC (online community!)

Before the tribe has spoken – Ryan is going to have his say.

Just in case you can’t remember who is on the cast – Here is a list of the upcoming Australian Survivor 2017 players.

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Ryan Brink’s Rankings.

Twitter @ryanvbrink

An open letter to the upcoming players of Australian Survivor.

Dear Newbies,

For those of you who don’t know me (which i’m assuming is most of you), my name is Ryan Brink. It’s fair to say i’m one of the “bigger” fans/pests of Australian Survivor you are going to come across over the next few months.

Last year I started a little podcast and Facebook group, the “Australian Survivor Community.” Over the course of the last year, as Nick dubbed it “I caught you all” nabbing long form interviews with every single Australian Survivor from Des to Kristie (Link Here). I’m the only person to do this, or even come close globally.

My goal in 2017. Eat, Sleep, Podcast, Repeat. This season I will again be recording nightly podcasts (audio recaps) and hoping to do some special recap episodes with Australian and potentially NZ and US Survivors on your season. I at all times try to find the balance between analysing game decisions and being honest with the thousands of people who listen to interviews we have done. If something is said you strongly disagree with – Shout it loud back to me. I can take it. 🙂

The anticipation of a new Survivor cast being released is practically my Christmas Day (even I know that sounds pretty pathetic :D). – Waiting, waiting and waiting! Finally you get to unwrap those 24 presents that have been sitting tightly wrapped underneath the Christmas Tree. But like any Christmas Day, that initial excitement can turn sour. Some presents you’ll love, while others you’ll be counting down the minutes, loading up the car and returning to the store as soon as the doors open on Boxing Day.

So here we go. As Craig would say, “The B**h stole my idol!” Wait no, that’s not right. It’s time to “pull up my little cotton socks” and dissect who we have waiting for us underneath that Christmas Tree.

Best Wishes,

Australian Survivors biggest geek.

Ryan.

Super Ryan

Disclaimer: The following is based on very limited information. Apologise to non Survivor superfans who may miss the meaning of most references. Also Network TEN… WTF is a Mega Fan? :s I’ll start at the bottom.

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PRE-MERGE – Not Dateable

#24 Ben Morgan, Fast Food Attendant, 20, WA

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Ben is 20, lives at home, works at Grill’d and is looking to up his Tinder game… (Being on Australian Survivor should help with the TINDER game Beno). 

Ben is brilliant casting. If this was Channel Seven’s First Dates, or an episode of Catfish. But Survivor!? No Deal!

We’ve seen in the past what happens to young players with limited life experiences who have been thrusted onto Survivor. Being a “superfan” of Survivor, is more than reading up on it’s history and binge watching a few seasons. It is an emersion into the culture. I don’t have high hopes at all for Australian Survivor’s first “Young Lad.” I see Australia’s version of Will Wahl on the horizon. And it’s not a pretty sight. Sorry Ben, you have first boot written all over you!

#23 Kate Temby, Financial Executive, 47, VIC

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Kate seems like a lovely neat lady, but I can literally tell you nothing about how Kate will play this game? She looks like T-Bird from Survivor: Africa… Her biography on TENPLAY reads more like a close friend reading a eulogy of an amazing woman, than someone about to play Survivor. Survivor is not the place to be a role model or a neat lady! Sorry Kate :S Happy to be wrong! 🙂 

#22 Jacqui Patterson, Wedding Celebrant, 50, NSW

Survivor_2017_Bio_small_Jacqui

Straight forward and opinionated. Keen lover of a champas or two. Her direct nature will cause conflict with others. The most heavily whispered about person this preseason. Something that will become very clear.

and all I can see for Jacqui is – Trouble, Trouble, Trouble!

#21 Luke Toki, Mining Technician, 30, WA

Survivor_2017_Bio_small_Luke

You applied as a joke and had to be talked back into playing the game…

I’m unsure if Luke is applying for Survivor or wants Simon Cowell to place him into a boy band on X-Factor?

My fingers and toes are crossed your stay on the island is pleasant, but short. I’m clearly exhibiting repressed nerd/bully feelings into this summary Luke. 😀 

#20 Kent Nelson, Chief Financial Officer, 51, SA

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Dear Kent.

The following are my Pros/Cons on what I know from reading about you online.

PRO:

  • You are from Adelaide. (I’m from Adelaide)

CON:

  • You are from Adelaide… 🙂
  • You’re a CFO and use to being the boss.
  • Older guys are seen as easier targets.
  • People who talk about hoping it is miserable weather, usually hate the miserable weather the most.

To summerise – From one Adelaidean to another best of luck.

#19 Odette Blacklock, Podiatrist, 32, NSW

Survivor_2017_Bio_small_Odette

Odette is absolutely stunning and sounds like a wonderful person who has battled through great adversity in her life, raising her son and hopes to be a role model for him. However…

And I mean this in the most loving way Odette. 🙂 Here is my issue. This is a direct quote from her TENPLAY bio – “Being a hero figure to her family is Odette’s most important goal.” I thought we had moved on from this tripe last season? Survivor is the REAL DEAL! (As you are well aware starving and freezing in Samoa, while I type this in front of a heater, eating from a bag of Salt and Vinegar chips). I want you to do well Odette. I hope it’s a misdirect in the pre-season presentation and not in execution. 🙂

EDIT: Since writing our initial preview and podcasting with Craig TEN have added to Odette’s bio. Someone has been listening. 😉 Sounds more promising but i’m sticking to my pre-edit guns.

#18 Mark Herlaar, 51, Lime Farmer, QLD

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“I’m the most genuine, honest guy you’d want as your friend.” That’s nice. But we are not looking for “Australia’s Next Top Bloke!” We are looking for the next sole Survivor. Mark is not that person. I want Mark to be the Villain and hope that those few lines he has said aloud were not fed to him by production. I think they are. Mark strikes me as someone who lives and dies by his word. His reputation post game will be important to him and his family. This is why he won’t “play the game.”

#17 Tara Pitt, Barrel Racer, 32, QLD

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I’m calling it – Fan Favourite Tara Pitt #FanFaveTaraPitt will be a thing this season. SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE.

A younger Sue Clarke? I don’t know about that. On paper Tara’s character type rarely does well on Survivor. I really like the casting character choice despite that fact. I think i’d have a better chance picking this weeks lotto numbers than telling you where Tara finishes.

#16 Peter Conte, 22, Digital Advertising Producer, NSW

Survivor_2017_Bio_small_Peter

Peter you spunk! You look like a charming guy and by all accounts you are a superfan of Survivor? Yet my little birdies tell me you hated Nick last season? …eek! How did casting let this slip through the cracks?

RING THE BELL – Class is in session, so lets see how much you have been studying for the ultimate test. I hope you do really well, but worry as a fan you may geek out too early and blow up your spot in some kind of swap. I’d not be shocked if you make the merge though.

#15 Joan Caballero, 29, Small Business Owner, NSW

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I LOVE JOAN! Joan is one of my very favourite casting selections from the first two seasons of Australian Survivor. She is just a normal Aussie Mum, who got off the couch to play the greatest game ever created.

I see so much upside in Joan if she can navigate the early game. And that is a huge if?* Much like Cirie on Survivor: Game Changers – Being on the right tribe that can avoid visiting Tribal Council early, will work in her favour. Work that puzzle/social magic Joan. There is a new BOSS in town.

P.S. I can’t wait to do her adventure room. 

#14 Jericho Malabonga, Flight Attendant, 25, VIC

Survivor_2017_Bio_small_Jericho

“Drink it in man!” Jerichoholics around the world are running wild! I thought Survivor HHH was going to get my meme juices flowing. Jericho has one of the coolest names of any survivor player e-e-ever!

Fanboying aside – Jericho strikes me as a pocket rocket. He has all the essentials to be a valuable contributor early in the game and should be able to progress through the swaps (not a merge) without any real issues. The test will come when questions are asked whether he has the social/strategic game to match his physical game. I do fear his strategy of not being authentic will blow up in his face. For this reason alone I have him just missing the merge.

#13 Adam Parkin, International Poker Player, 40, QLD

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Pa Pa Pa Poker Face!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh, Adam…

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Are you actually a genuine International Poker Player? I’m predicting Adam to go all in and bust on the bubble (Just pre-merge). See what I did there. 😉

I’m getting Anna Khait vibes. Courtesy of the amazing Josh Wigler.

THE “REAL” MERGE – Dateable

#12 Aaron “AK” Knight, Wedding DJ, 29, SA

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Aaron. I have one word to describe you, and i’m going to spell it out for you. S-N-A-K-E. SNAAAAAAAAAKE!

This dude is giving me major Kyle Jason vibes. Big trouble. He needs to be removed from the game ASAP.

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#11 Locklan Gilbert, 27, Adventure Guide, WA

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Australia meet our own Bear Grylls. Woo!

I’m preparing myself for the inevitable – Cut to hero scene of shirtless Lachie providing for his tribe. A real Aussie hero…

#10 Michelle Dougan, Nanny, 33, NSW

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I’m getting a slight Caffe latte set vibe from Michelle. Am I the only one?

Michelle on paper is a clear fish out of water… And I love it! To me if she can go unnoticed, she will go quite far. Wait you were all waiting for a Nanny joke? I’ll leave that to others to shuffle the deck and pull out of their hats.

#9 Jarrad Seng, 29, Photographer, WA

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Steve Aoki is going to be one of my favourites. You don’t become that well respected and followed on social media if you don’t have a cracking social game.

If Jarrad can demonstrate his physical capabilities are an asset not a liability and use his social game – He could prove me wrong and go all the way. Fingers crossed!

#8 Nicola “Ziggy” Zagame, Olympian, 26, NSW

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Triumphant Olympic hero, huzzah! If I was Ziggy i’d own the fact i’m an Olympian, I don’t see it as a negative. People are so quick to hide their careers, when actually owning something unique in my mind builds honesty and trust. Something I think Ziggy will have in spades.

I don’t see Ziggy being in CONTROL at any stage. I have her making it this far on physical strength alone. She seems nice… But nice does not put you in the numbers.

#7 Henry Nicholson, Labourer, 26, SA

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Oh Henry, you want to work with the weak? Where did you get that idea from. 😉 I like the idea of being into yoga and a no collar guy. But why lie and say you are an instructor? Yoga on the beach is a certainty on any season.

I actually have high hope for Henry, i’d not be shocked if he was crowned sole Survivor. He needs to modify his strategy – find a meat shield to protect himself. Henry will be better at the physical and puzzle aspect then many assume. Buuuut! His smooth persona wont work on everyone.

#6 Aimee Stanton, 23, Plumber, VIC

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Aimee. to borrow from the great Ja’mie King.

I get HUGE Kat Edorsson vibes about you! and I love it. Aimee is never winning Australian Survivor. She could be a very usable pawn in the long game. Leave her in the game and she could make it, very, very interesting.

#5 Sarah Tilleke, 22, Model, WA

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Sarah is going to be a fan favourite. It’s obvious. She has been “The Face” of Australian Survivor’s 2017 previews. Underestimated by her competitors – i’m getting Phoebe vibes.

Physical, Social and Strategic. The perfect combination. Sarah could be the powerhouse of the season. Bring it home Sarah!

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Who wore it better?

#4 Anneliese Wilson, Student, 23, VIC

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Reading Anneliese preview, I can’t help but gush! Obsessed and strategic! I have high hopes. Being a fan she is going to be looking for every opportunity to be “memorable” by making a move. Annelises would be high on my WENTWORTH esq – Sneaky Sneaky radar.

I think she is intelligent enough to understand and use her knowledge of the game to put herself in a great position, without “Geeking Out” and doing what some superfans do when they play – blow up their spot. Any one who has Jeff Probst as one of their celebrity crushes is always going to be high on my list. 🙂

#3 Samantha Gash, Endurance Athlete, 32, VIC

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Samantha makes everyone under the age of 32 wonder what they have been doing with their lives. Her resume is RI-DIC-U-LOUS! I’m getting a strong El vibe about her. Maybe it’s just the overalls?

I’ve had Sam super high on my radar since the cast was announced. Physically early on, it should be a walk in the park. Like El, I see her as super likeable, but probably invisable in the edit. The perfect combination to win Australian Survivor.

#2 Mark Wales, 37, Former Special Ops Commander, WA

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GREAT SCOTT! For every El, you need a Lee. And Mark is my Lee. The guy should have Mateship tattooed across his forehead. He oozes it! Say it aloud with me. 3, 2, 1… MATESHIP!!! The thing I like most about Mark, is I think he could see the errors Lee made last year and try to replicate his game while correcting those small mistakes.

I spoke before how I see Mark as some kind of future love child of Lee and El, sent back in time to rectify the mistakes of his future/past parents. I see an inner-nerd in Mark ready to jump out, wanting to play this game. DO IT! Let’s get this  baby up to 88-miles per hour and send it straight back to the future! Or the past… I don’t know?

#1 Tessa O’Halloran, Doctor, 29, VIC

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Tessa. I’m so sorry. 😦 I have now jinxed you with as my winners pick!

Tessa to me is the clear standout on paper from this cast. Her bio provides the perfect combination of being highly intelligent, an ability to work and think rationally under stress and the openness to say she wants to lie, cheat and steal! Love it.

My fingers are crossed, that you are the boy girl who lived! 🙂

That wraps up my preseason predictions. I can’t wait to be called out when Tessa is the first boot and Ben wins Australian Survivor 2017. 😀

You can hear my preview with Season 1 player Craig I’Anson here

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